I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
