Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize