just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
