EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
