just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
