apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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