We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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