Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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