sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
A bitchslap is in order.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
