Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the liver wants what the liver wants
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
