It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
