He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
