it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
