he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
