I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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