ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
