i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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