Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize