we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
