In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
