you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
