Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
