Say something about gay babies.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
