dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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