there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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