Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
