didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
