u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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