after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
