I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
