If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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