There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
