sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
