the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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