The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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