I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
