His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
