Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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