I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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