I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
