Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
