apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
