I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize