a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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