Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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