You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
