is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
