Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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