Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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