you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
