So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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