My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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