bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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