Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
