hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
