so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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