I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
