I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
