Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
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I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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