he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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