He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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