Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
