i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
