Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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