I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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