No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize