would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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