And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
did i walk over a car last night?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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