Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
